"I know nothing stays the same..."

As we stand together at the threshold of both crisis and opportunity, everything around us is calling for all of us to CHANGE...to prove once again we can "change our spots."
Are you ready? 

The notion gives me flashbacks...

When I first started in my own business, after a wonderfully rewarding leadership career with IBM for 20+ years, it was a big, GIANT change---one I was excited about; one IBM had prepared me to take on; one I had dreamed about, but when it actually came, there were sure some scary moments of uncertainty and doubt. Ever had that experience yourself when you dared to break away from the familiar?

There was a poignant moment in my transition that has stayed with me...
In the very first job I landed with my new company, I spent a wonderful morning with a room full of women health care leaders. They were in the process of reinventing themselves as a leadership team to move into major changes in their organization. We had a warm, honest and meaningful exchange together---it was just one of those very special occasions when everything worked.

At the end of the session, one of the women, named Ruth, a senior manager at a major hospital, slipped a piece of paper in my hand. She said, "Thank you for this time with us. I wrote a poem while you were presenting to express what happened for me."

All these years, I cherished her poem and called upon it many times for inspiration. I've always wished she had known how meaningful the message was to me at the time. I never saw her again. ...but now, I get to pass it on to you...a kind of "family heirloom" to share with you in my Greater IBM friends. Take good care of it and hopefully, you too can pass it along some time:

I NEED TO CHANGE
by Ruth B.

Lonely words
lost in a barrage,
suddenly become
startling
no longer lonely
but more important
than any gone before.

"I need to change,
but can I?
Will I?
Do I dare?"
What will become of the
treasured past, the familiar
sameness of my life?

I will change
because I want to be as good as I can
I want to leave my signature
though invisible
on others' lives
so that when
my career ends
others
will begin.

Epilogue:
My biggest lesson from this poem was learned in writing this post. In reflection I can see a kind of miracle happened.  When my career ended at IBM, others did begin theirs...and new doors opened in my life. I took with me 21 years of knowledge and experience that shaped a new future. The BIG surprise is that all the years of hard work in growing my company would prepare me to unexpectedly reunite with the company and people I loved years later at Greater IBM. Nice!

"I know nothing stays the same...
...it will be coming around again."
---Carly Simon

What poignant moments of transition have inspired YOU?

Best...
Debbe

Debbe Kennedy
Contributing Author
Greater IBM Connection
Founder, President & CEO
Global Dialogue Center and
Leadership Solutions Cos.
author, Putting Our Differences to Work
Video Book Review by futurist Joel Barker 
www.globaldialoguecenter.com
IBMer 1970 - 1991 L.A.; Anchorage; Seattle; San Francisco 

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Comments

[Vasundhar Boddapati]

Debbe,
I throughly enjoyed your post and the Poem by Ruth.

I am able to feel your post,I think its very true.

How are preparations for Women's day are going ??
This time I want to join your party to show how significant Women in my life have been as Mother , Wife , Friend and Teacher...

Cheers !
V

[Received from Ethan R.R. McCarty]

Wow, what a great post...and a great poem. I was actually bracing for the worst -- I mean, a poem written in a conference could be pretty bad. But this one was great. I'm not an expert in poetry or anything, but I did get a degree in creative writing at one point...

ANYWAY -- to answer your question, I want to a relay a moment of change. Not a huge, consequential change, but a change nonetheless: I recently switch off of coffee (mostly.) Truth is, I still allow myself a cup on the wknds, but no more during the week. I know it sounds inconsequential, but I have been a coffee addict for many, many years. A few weeks ago I just decided to stop. It upsets my stomach, makes me perspire and certainly isn't the best for my nervous system. SO I just cut it out. I drink a little tea in its place, but nothing like the quantity of coffee I was consuming. And I feel great. It wasn't actually tough to give up because I didn't make a big deal about it....I just stopped. Anyway, a small habit to change, but one that I really identified with my persona etc.

Ethan

[Debbe Kennedy]

Vasundhar: Thanks for your message. It was a special poem that has stayed with me. Women's event was terrific...

http://www.globaldialoguecenter.com/newday

Ethan,
Nice post! I laughed out loud at your first "bracing yourself" mention. I remember doing just that when Ruth handed me a folded piece of paper with her poem written inside.

How's the coffee commitment working? I recognize I am calmer, often more productive, and sometimes a lot nicer :-). How about you?

Debbe

[Paula Patinella]

If I listened to my mother, she would say that I haven't changed since I was an infant. She always told me that I was exhibiting the same behaviors since I was two years old. That isn't to say that I haven't matured, or become more proficient at what I do, but it does mean that the innate talents I displayed as a youngster are still with me.

I'm not sure if it was instilled by my parents and family, but I always felt that I could do whatever I wanted to do; I could handle most any situation in order to achieve what I wanted to achieve.

Sometimes my methods were questioned, and I remember being sent to the principal's office, at least once a week, because I was talking in class or organizing the other kids to do something we shouldn't have been doing. When I was just in the second grade, I used candy to bribe my way past the crossing guards, who were supposed to keep us on the playground. But, I found that we could get to Mr.Brown's Candy Store on Flatbush Avenue, in Brooklyn with just a few penny candies and get back for the promise of a few more, without anyone being the wiser. This was in second grade, mind you. I was seven years old. I was born in Manhattan and spent my formative years in Brooklyn; you get a lot of street smarts growing up in the city. I went to parochial schools and was taught by Sisters of Mercy. They were fierce disciplinarians, but when you are in a class of forty students, you can get away with a thing or two. I was into social networking before it had a name. Everyone in the school knew me as someone who knew what was going on. I had my hand on the pulse of the school.(at least I thought I did)

Then we moved to the "country". I'm a second generation IBMer and my Dad was transferred to White Plains, so we moved to New City, in Rockland County, NY. It was a very different environment and I remember the kids at school making fun of my "Brooklyn" accent. What a joke that was, because when we eventually moved to Maryland, the "southerners" really had a problem with the way I 'tawk"....

My artistic inclinations came to the forefront when we moved up-state. I found that elementary school teachers really do appreciate the kids who can help them keep their classrooms decorated with murals and 3D interpretations of what we were studying, for example the to-scale model of the Taj Mahal I created in sixth grade. I was a top ranked cookie salesperson for Girl Scout Troop 168 and to this day I am still buying cookies in honor my troop leader, Mrs. Calabrese.

We moved to Maryland just as I entered high school, and just happened to land in a newly constructed school. That summer I showed up early to help get the bulletin boards decorated and to foster a sense of school spirit as we got to select our own school colors and mascot. I was on the cheerleading squad, was Class Publicity Chairman and managed the campaign for the person who ultimately became our class president. He's now a world-reknown genetic researcher and doctor. He needed to be President of the class in order to get into the college he wanted to attend.

I think I had a focus on client centric thinking and I've always been tuned into the marketplace. I am most motivated when I am working on new, start-up types of projects. I develop relationships and maintain and nurture my networks of connections. Today, in Facebook, I have people from schools I attended, getting in touch with me and it is wonderful to hear from them.

By the time I was twenty, I was supporting my family by painting, marketing and selling my own artwork. I used to set up a stand, every weekend at the Lincoln Memorial where I would talk with people about my art. My first professional job was with a life insurance company where cold calling was the back bone of getting policies sold. IBM hired me as a professional hire, in 1976 and, in all the many jobs I've had in all that time, I've drawn upon those innate capabilities to enhance my effectiveness at IBM. Sometimes, it makes me laugh to think about it, but my mother was right, I haven't changed much. The work and the world around me has changed significantly, but it has been my ability to adapt and find a way to apply my skills and talents that has made me successful; even my 3D skills! The experiences I've had at IBM and the opportunities I've had to practice my skills have made me an expert in some areas and a trail blazer in others. I'm still out ahead in my willingness to try new things and explore new ways of doing things. I find it impossible not to connect people and ideas and make connections between various groups of people who have no idea that others are doing similar things. I love the work I do. I'm inspired by the talented people I get to work with every day and the opportunities that are possible by being in this environment. By being true to myself, just being me and adapting my skills to what is going on around me...I've found my way.

Through the low-lights and the highlights, I try to remind myself that it is because of who I am, and my resiliency that I have made it this far in my career choices. I have no idea what is waiting for me in the future, but can't worry about it. I just think about that seven year old kid who was filling her uniform pockets with candy, and chuckle.

[Debbe Kennedy]

Dear Paula,
What a great story that arrived at a perfect time. Just loved your "storytelling". You should be writing a book! It was a great word picture that reflected much of what I've sensed about you in the distance and learned from you in the present.

Your story also helped me remember some qualities that surfaced early in my life and remain visible. You probably didn't know, I was a self-identified "milk tester" at age 5. The initiative I showed, generated a "dialogue" among neighbors as I asked questions, tasted, and analyzed data so the whole neighborhood could learn from milk favs and flavors. It was a practical application for those small bundles of worn down pencils my "margin clerk" mom (a woman before her time) brought home as a present, along with an old clipboard.

Your story made me reflect, appreciate and laugh outloud. It started a whole dialogue here at the Global Dialogue Center.

Thanks, Paula!

[Paula Patinella]

Wow, Debbe...just think was a team we would have been if we had social media available to us when we were kids... we could have been the "milk and cookie" girls. You keep inspiring me. Smiles to you, Debbe.

[Paula Patinella]

correction: WHAT a team we would have been... is there no editing here???

[Debbe Kennedy]

I agree! It has been fun to discover those early signs from reading your story. dk

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